Social and emotional learning is an area of development that is gaining attention in the field of education for good reason. Studies show that students with strong social and emotional skills are more likely to do well in school, are better at managing stress and have positive relationships with others. These students are also less likely to experience depression or to engage in substance abuse and criminal behavior later in life. We know that kids do not intuitively develop these essential skills (see table, which is according to an article on euthopia.org, Why Social and Emotional Learning is Essential for Students). Rather, they learn them through intentional experiences and support from adults. This is true for students at any age, preschool and beyond.

6 Ways to Support Social and Emotional Learning at Home

Validate and Encourage the Expression of Emotions

When your child is experiencing a strong emotion, use it as an opportunity to help them name it. Encourage your child to express their feelings in words, by saying things like, “I feel mad when…”  or “It makes me happy when…” It can also be helpful to make observations about their emotional expression by saying things such as, “I noticed you are crying. Are you sad?” Being able to label an emotion is the first step towards being able to express it appropriately. This might seem like a juvenile skill, but you would be surprised how many older students (and adults) have trouble with this at first.

Be a Model

Children can learn almost everything they need to know about social skills and emotional expression by watching you. You can model healthy social and emotional development by thinking through your feelings out loud. When kids hear us process our emotions, they use our words as their guide when they experience strong feelings of their own. Also, remember that you don’t have to be perfect. Showing kids that even their parents make mistakes in how they respond to strong feelings can be helpful, too. Engage your child in talking about a better way that you can handle a similar situation next time.

Connect Over a Meal

One of the simplest ways you can support social skill development is to share a meal as a family, at a table, without distractions. This creates a natural time for conversation and connection where parents can model social and emotional skills. You can even engage your children in conversation about how your family expects each other to act at the dinner table. Kids can share their ideas about whether cell phones should be allowed at the table, who can speak and when, and other family norms for meal time. This is a challenge in self-regulation because it asks kids to match their behavior to a specific situation.

Use Technology Intentionally

Kids learn about themselves and others by interacting with people. And no, Siri doesn't count. It’s important to be aware of how much time your child spends on a device and make sure that they are getting a healthy balance of face-to-face interaction, too. With some thought, technology can be used as a tool for social development. Try playing a game or doing an activity on a shared device. For example, siblings can play a game on one iPad, taking turns, helping each other and using language to work together. There are also some great apps out there for guided meditation and deep breathing. My class this year loves to use “Calm” as a way to practice mindfulness. It’s also just as important to reflect on your own use of devices around your child. Be mindful of the fact that, in some instances, when you are looking at a screen you might be sacrificing an opportunity for social interaction. Balance and purpose with technology are the goals here.

Create Space for Reflection

Journaling is a great way to explore self-reflection and self-expression. Your family might even like to start journals together and think about the same prompt each night. Getting into the habit of responding to questions like “What are you grateful for?” or “What was the best part of your day?” gives kids the space to assess their behavior, set goals, and express their emotions in a constructive way. No one is too young to start a journal. Even kids who can’t read yet can dictate a journal entry or draw their thoughts.

Read

Young kids learn to recognize social and emotional skills in others before they can recognize or perform them themselves. Reading books with social and emotional themes gives kids a chance to take other character’s perspectives and experiment with some of these topics. I love just about every book on this list for starting conversation with small humans about some really big topics like kindness, inclusion, and honesty. If you have a middle school student, there are also some great reads on this list of books about kindness and empathy.

Interested in reading more about social and emotional development? Check out this resource guide for parents!

About the Author

Randi Bowling 

Preschool 4/5 Teacher

rbowling@stanleyclark.org